Korean Swimmer Fails Drug Test, Comes Up With New Excuse

dumbass-logo
January 27, 2015

Meet South Korean Olympic swimming champ Park Tae-hwan. Park became the first South Korean ever to win an Olympic gold medal in swimming when he took the men’s 400-meter freestyle race at the 2008 Beijing Olympics and later added a silver medal in the 200-meter freestyle. Park, 25, is also the most decorated South Korean in the history of the Asian Games with a total of 20 medals, including six…

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United States Anti-Doping Agency: Lance Armstrong “Bald-Faced Liar”

To say the  USADA has a little evidence that former Tour de France took performing enhancing substances would be a huge understatement. Back this summer when Armstrong failed to respond to the allegations, he and his attorney’s made it sound like the USADA on a fishing expedition and their “investigation” wasn’t even worth their time or effort to react to. And then they stripped Armstrong of his Tour de France wins…

October 11, 2012
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World Anti-Doping Agency: Mexican Soccer Players Tested Positive for Steroids Because of “Tainted Meat”

Add “tainted meat” to the list of acceptable excuses for testing positive for steroids. And, it’s even easier to claim that if you come from a country where the government sucks at preventing drugs from being given to the cattle by ranchers . . . like in Mexico. The WADA says it believes the under-17 players on Mexico’s national team (which beat the US by a score of 4-2 last…

October 13, 2011
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Jury Says Mr. Bulky Lied to Grand Jury About Steroid Use

Barry Bonds with long nose
April 14, 2011

Not really much to add to this other than: 1) Why did it take so long? 2) Does this really surprise anyone? We were telling you the truth back in 2007 and many people were giving us grief back then about slamming the “greatest player in baseball.” Should there be an asterisk next to his record 70 home runs? For that matter, any season totals for Mark McGwire or Sammy…

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Ray’s Slugger Manny Ramirez Retires From Baseball After 2nd Positive Drug Test

Double Dumbass Logo
April 11, 2011

Wait a minute . . . when Manny tested positive back in 2009 for a banned substance, wasn’t that all a big misunderstanding with some hint that he was given the drug so he and his wife could have a baby? Who could fault a guy for juicing–we mean, taking a perfectly legal fertility drug–so he could enlarge his family? At the time, we recall most people being pretty supportive…

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Barry Bond’s Former Mistress: His Testicles Shrunk After Taking Steroids!

Box of Raisins
March 30, 2011

Talk about . . . Winning! (Apologies to Charlie Sheen.) Forget anything else that has happened or will happen during this long saga of “did Barry Bonds take steroids or not” saga: when his former mistress, Kimberly Bell testified on Tuesday that the former Home Run King’s balls shrunk to the size of raisins, it was over.  Nothing anyone else can say will top that, or will have the same…

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