Gonzalo Jara ‘Banned’ for Rest of the 2015 Copa America After He ‘Inserted Finger Into Edinson Cavani’s Anus’

Gonzalo Jara 'banned
June 26, 2015

Haven’t these guys learned yet that there are cameras EVERYWHERE these days and they’re less and less likely to get away with this sh*t? Apparently not. Oh, and then the guys does one of the worst soccer flops we’ve ever seen to top things off. More on the story from The Independent: Chile defender Gonzalo Jara has been banned for the rest of the Copa America after he “inserted a…

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Not Again? Jack Warner — Indicted Ex-FIFA Official — Cites Article In ‘The Onion’ To Rip U.S.

Not Again? Jack Warner — Indicted Ex-FIFA Official — Cites Article In ‘The Onion’ To Rip U.S.
June 1, 2015

Normally intelligent people need to stop citing the parody website “The Onion” if they want to get taken seriously in the world. The latest victim? Kack Warner, one of the FIFA officials indicted by the United States on bribery and corruption charges. There’s even a video of it!  Warner now faces 12 charges including accusations of accepting bribes in the process to determine the hosts for the World Cup in…

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The True Legacy of Building Stadiums for the FIFA World Cup

From a press release we received: The seven key factors that led to overdesigned and under-utilised stadiums after the FIFA 2010 World Cup in South Africa Saïd Business School, University of Oxford The ‘legacy’ of hosting a major sporting event, such as the FIFA World Cup or the Olympics, is the prevailing argument made by host countries to justify the huge expense of the event. South Africa, Brazil, and Qatar…

May 29, 2015
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Video: Everyday Football Fouls

Video: Everyday Football Fouls
July 10, 2014

Has watching the FIFA World Cup 2014 made American’s fans of soccer, or did it just make us notice all the silly fouls, flopping, and knee grabbing the sport is know for? Watch this video to see what every day life would be like if we reacted to being bumped or pushed like football players do.

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Video: Worst Soccer Sideline Reporter EVER!

At least this guy in honest. Can you imagine a sideline reporter for an NFL game being this clueless? From the original video, this reporter’s name is Chris Kamara and he appears to be participating in something called Soccer Saturday, which looks like a bunch of guys in a studio reviewing the games, probably similar to the NFL Today or something like that. (Also, this video is a couple of…

April 4, 2014
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Video: Brace Yourself For Soccer Players Playing Fairly

Wait, what? Usually soccer players are flopping down, grabbing knees and faking injuries. Anything to keep an opponent from scoring . . . but not these guys. One falls and immediately tells the ref he tripped over his own feet and the other admits he was the last to touch the ball before it went out-of-bounds. They’re not going to last very long in professional soccer. )

March 11, 2014
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Division II College Suspends Men’s Soccer Program Over Hazing Incident

Ever heard of Humbolt State University? Neither had we, until this report came out from Soccer America about them cancelling the entire 2012 season after an alleged hazing incident involving some heavy drinking came to light. Division II Humboldt State suspended its men’s program for the 2012 as a result of a hazing ritual at an off-campus party where new players were ordered to perform humiliating acts and engage in…

August 24, 2012
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Video: How Much Better Would Soccer Be With Special Effects?

We bet you’ve been thinking about this for a long time, like we have! What’s the best–and possibly only–way to make soccer more fun and interesting? Special effects, of course! Lots and lots of special effects. Here’s a sample of what the future of soccer could look like . . . if only the fans had the courage to demand it. Soccer With Special Effects – Watch More Funny Videos

June 26, 2012
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Warning to Soccer Hooligans: Poland Has Hired “Testicle Biting Police Dogs” for Euro 2012 Championships

Testicle biting dog
June 8, 2012

Do you really need to say more than that?  The Poles are obviously not messing around, as evidenced by an editorial in the English-language Krakow Post newspaper aimed at visiting fans from the UK, that asserted that local law enforcement agencies were MORE than ready to tackle any hooligan threat at England’s southern Poland base camp during the Euro 2012 soccer championships.  “The Polish police are going to come down…

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Video: Worst Soccer Goal Celebration Ever?

Those choreographed team celebrations are SO 15 minutes ago!  Now, the best way to celebrate a teammates goal is to wait until he’s on his back on the ground and stand on his stomach. Let’s hope he’s not wearing spikes! And no, I don’t know who these teams are. Someplace in Eastern Europe I think.

April 16, 2012
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Photo of Real Madrid Soccer Player & Girlfriend on #GQ Cover Gets Journalists Arrested – Sami Khedira

Sami Khedira on cover of GQ with naked model girlfriend
February 22, 2012

Don’t republish this photo. Not unless you want to get arrested and spend five years in jail for “offending public morality.”  Oh, and you work for a news organization in a country ruled by strict Islamic law. The photo, of Real Madrid soccer star Sami Khedira and his mostly naked hot blond model girlfriend (how many times do you get to use that phrase in a sentence?), Lena Gercke, on…

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