Once again, the evils of “slow play” have caused two sets of golfers to go after each other like gang members and results in a couple of arrests. It’s not clear why the dispute between duffers escalated to the point of violence, but before it was over an expensive driver was not only used to beat one man, but also broke in half. The horrors! Won’t someone think of the equipment! This most recent incident happened in Provo, Utah.
According to Provo police, it happened at the tee box on hole No. 10 where a group thought they had permission from the course marshal to go ahead. In the end, two of those golfers ended up under arrest. Police say the two golfing parties started exchanging words, which escalated to a golf driver being used as a weapon.
All of the sudden, police dispatchers got a flood of 911 calls — including one from each of the two men now under arrest — asking for help. Not only did the 41-year-old victim suffer what police said was a hematoma on his back, he sustained a puncture wound and abrasions to his thigh after the driver broke in half and was used as a blunt instrument. The victim also reported he was punched several times.
John Black, 53, and Brice Williams, 59, were booked on charges of aggravated assault and disorderly conduct.
Some golfers like to play fast, while others take their time and savor every . . . last . . . second . . . on . . . the–WOULD YOU JUST HIT THE FREAKING BALL ALREADY! That’s what happens when a fast player gets behind a slow player. What doesn’t usually happen is the fast player freaks out and wildly swings a golf club at the head of the slow player. And yes, citizen lawyer Brian R. Smith, even if you don’t actually make contact with the guy’s head, they can still arrest you.