Tag Archives: Dumbasses

Trio Rent Golf Carts, then Wreck Them to . . . Make YouTube Video?

Jackson, Michigan is not far from the BadJocks Bunker. In fact, we’ve driven by the Cascades Golf Course in the past, so we know right were it is. Not much happens here, so it was surprising when a reader sent us this story. Our only disappointment is that it appears that none of the carts ended up in the water, as one is known to attract the other. It’s one of Newton’s Laws of Physicals, I think.

MLive.com tells it pretty well:

The three men rented a cart and paid to golf about 6:30 p.m., said Phil Fischmeister, the course manager. About 9 p.m., a golfer came off the course and told Fischmeister there were “some kids out screwing around.” The golfer said they were driving over greens and through sand traps. Fischmeister, who only had the two carts still on the course, went to investigate. He first found one cart left in the course’s parking lot. It was “filthy,” full of branches and leaves, he said.

“I don’t know where they were driving it,” he said.  Out on the course, Fischmeister found the second cart, abandoned in the middle of the seventh hole. The cart was badly damaged, with a ball bearing completely ripped off, Fischmeister said.  As he returned to the club to find a tow for the damaged cart, Fischmeister saw the three men from earlier walking through the parking lot. The three told Fischmeister they lost a cellphone on the course and returned to look for it. He asked them about the damaged carted.

“They were playing dumb,” Fischmeister said. “One kid was getting a little mouthy with me and didn’t want to cooperate, so I called the police.”  During separate interviews with all three, the men said they were trying to speed the golf cart down a hill and send it airborne over a smaller hill. They were trying to make a video to post to YouTube, Rand said.   Deputies arrived and arrested the 20-year-old for malicious destruction of property. A report will be sent to the Jackson County Prosecutor’s Office for potential charges against the other two.

Video: Substitute Goal Keeper Comes Off Bench to Stop Goal

You think the flopping and diving in soccer are bad? You should she the world class cheating that goes on.

For those of you who follow Argentine soccer (and who doesn’t?) you’re already aware that Huracan Las Heras traveled to Club Atletico Union this week in an epic battle between the worst two teams in the league. The loser goes home and the winner advances in the league tournament and a chance to salvage their season. With the score tied 1-1 late in the game, Atletico Union beats the goal keeper and appears to have an open shot when substitute keeper Fernando Espinoza, who was warming up behind the goal, jumps in and swats the ball away from goal. No Gooooooooooooooooooooal!

The punishment? Espinoza got a yellow card and Atletico got a cornet kick and went on to lose the game.

Where are the soccer hooligans to start a riot when you need them?

Four “Poachers” Arrested Outside Philly Golf Course With 8000 Balls

Dumbass Category LogoMost golf courses have water hazards of some kind: rivers, streams and lakes. And usually they are deep enough to hide golf balls. Sometimes local kids spend evenings and weekend mornings up to their knees (or deeper) finding these lost white balls and, maybe, resell them for a buck or two. Then there are these four guys from Michigan who got all the way to a course outside Philadelphia–Aronimink Golf Club in Newtown Square–with their elaborate ball retrieval, uh, “operation.”

Cops spotted the quartet in the middle of night with flashlights near their white van and trailer. Inside  they found scuba equipment and about 8,000 golf balls, some marked “White Manor Country Club.”   The accused golf ball entrepreneurs claimed they had permission from Aronimink to be there, but the club denies that.  These four geniuses, Daniel P. Curry, 31; Charles D. Creed IV, 26; Robert D. Suave III, 28; and Carisa N. Osmond, 23, all from Saginaw were eventually arrested and face charges of theft, receiving stolen property, and–a new one to us–defiant trespass.

8000 freakin’ golf balls.