Add “tainted meat” to the list of acceptable excuses for testing positive for steroids. And, it’s even easier to claim that if you come from a country where the government sucks at preventing drugs from being given to the cattle by ranchers . . . like in Mexico. The WADA says it believes the under-17 players on Mexico’s national team (which beat the US by a score of 4-2 last year) that they were the victims of poor government regulations.
Right now, NBA Commissioner David Stern is only cancelling pre-season games. Who cares, right? To borrow a phrase from former star Allen Iverson, “We’re talking about practice, man. I mean, how silly is that? We’re talking about practice!” But soon, we will be talking about cancelling regular season games (currently scheduled to start on November 1) which could result in a shortened season.
Big deal, you say? The NBA seasons is already too long? That maybe true, but you forget about the impact on one important group.
And no, we don’t mean pro basketball groupiess, although those poor girls will have to find new jocks in other sports (indoor soccer anyone?) to pursue during the lockout. No, we’re talking about the guys who make the odds for NBA games in Las Vegas . . . and wherever sports betting is legal. No games, no reason to calculate the odds. No reason to calculate the odds, no reason to pay someone to sit there all day . . . unless you’re taking bets on when the NBA season will start and then they can calculate the odds of when the season will start. Other than that, it’s over. Damn it, someone is going to laid off because of this! Some poor guy (or gal) who used to sit in a back room, looking over player and team stats and coming up with insanely tantalizing odds that somehow always seem to let the house win. Now that’s a skill.
The strike could also impact oddsmakers in other ways, as gambler cash moves over into other sports like hockey, football, and women’s beach volleyball. It will throw an entire little world into chaos . . . for what? In the end, the owners will make money, the players will make money and your favorite team will once again tank so early in the season you’ll actually look forward to the WNBA season to start.
And yet, in a few days, without a new NBA contract, games will be cancelled and at some point the jobs of the little people will be lost. And then, you’re going to have to start learning how to handicap European soccer games to have something to bet on.
Is that what you really want?
The guys over at DeadSpin are at it again: last year they broke the Brett Favre penis phone picture story. This year it looks like they are topping themselves by making the claim that Yankee GM Brian Cashman was followed down to Spring Training in 2009 by a private investigator hired by the jealous husband of a woman he–allegedly–was having an affair with. And, once again they’ve got PICTURES!
This won’t be distracting for the team, will it?
Well, I guess that shows you the difference between Fresno and Miami. In Miami, the football players at The U received cash and hookers. In Fresno they allegedly got free food stamps.
Yeah, that sounds about right. On the plus side, because so many players are involved that will launch Fresno State into the top ten of our Disgusting Dozen college football rankings.
You really don’t need much more than that headline, do you? On the other hand, the North Korean soccer officials do get first prize for the most original excuse for getting caught juicing: They claim they were treating the five now banned players with “traditional therapy” after they were “struck by lightning at a pre-tournament training camp.”
Sources are saying those eight players have been declared ineligible, but could still play for the Hurricanes this season. How? The NCAA can start the reinstatement process almost immediately (think how fast they moved on Auburn’s Cam Newton last season) and could mean players will only have to sit out a game or two . . . or maybe the entire season. Who knows?