Fargo Man Arrested for DUI on . . . Zamboni?

Fargo Man Arrested for DUI on . . .  Zamboni?
February 4, 2015

I wish I could say this is the first time I remember this happening, but in nearly 15 years of doing this blog, I can’t.  And why not? It’s probably really cold and boring waiting to get out there and drive that big monster on the ice, you’re probably tempted to have an adult beverage or two to kill the time and you’ve driven the thing a million times before….


Source: Browns Forced Manzeil Into Rehab

February 3, 2015

The reaction to the word that Johnny Manzeil, aka “Johnny Football”, was entering rehab with a mixture of reactions yesterday. Some, like us, chose the humor route and had a little fun with the occasionally arrogant former Texas A&M quarterback, while others stood up for him and praised his courage to “getting the help he needed to turn his life around.” But what if Manzeil didn’t voluntarily go into rehab…


Bears DB Tim Jennings Arrested for DUI, Claims He Wasn’t Drinking

Tim Jennings mug shot - dui arrest
January 8, 2015

Okay,so here’s the thing. If you’re doing 99 mph in a 65 zone and the cops pull you over (even if you’re just late trying to get to your kid’s parent-teacher conference at noon on a Wednesday) they arrest you for speeding. If they smell booze on your breath or otherwise think you’ve been drinking, they do a roadside sobriety test (you know, the one where you touch your nose…


Josh Gordon Showing No Ill-Effects from 10 Game Suspension

josh gordon of the Cleveland browns
December 3, 2014

Maybe marijuana doesn’t slow you down after all. Josh Gordon has been back to his usual on-field self in two games back for the Cleveland Browns, after missing the team’s (surprisingly successful) first ten for violating the NFL’s substance abuse policy. Gordon has been targeted a ridiculous 29 times through two games, catching 15 balls for 195 yards. Though he has not quite returned to his 18.9 yards per catch…


Drunk Jaguars CB Dwayne Gratz Cited For Disorderly Intoxication and . . . Trying to Pay With Gum?

Jaguars Dwayne Gratz Mug Shot
November 18, 2014

Nobody ever said you had to be a genius to play football. Not that you can’t be smart and play, but some people who are very good at athletic endeavors aren’t the best at traditional book learning. Same goes the other way. You do have to wonder sometimes how dumb (or drunk) some athletes are when they get arrested. Case in point: Jacksonville Jaguars cornerback Dwayne “Do You Have Change…


MLB Drunk Driving: Cardinal’s Oscar Taveras Had a BAC “Five Times Legal Limit” at Time of Fatal Crash

November 13, 2014

Various sources are reporting today that alcohol played a significant role in the car crash that killed Cardinals outfielder Oscar Taveras and his girlfriend back on Oct. 2. Most reports are saying that Taveras had a blood alcohol concentration (BAC) that was five times the legal limit. Unfortunately, BAC limits vary from country to country (in the US, most states are now at 0.08%) so it’s difficult to estimate his…


NY Post: Coked-Up Knicks Shave Points in Games in 1981-82

First, Bobby Riggs allegedly threw his tennis match to Billie Jean King. Now we have cheating on the NBA, back in the day. Are any of our childhood memories sacred anymore? Coked-up Knicks players fixed games as a favor to their drug dealer — who bet big bucks against the anemic New York squad, FBI informants claimed during the 1981-82 season. The feds probed whether three Knicks, reportedly “heavy users…

September 16, 2013

Drunk Iowa Coed Runs Onto Field During Game, Gets Arrested, Blows 0.341% BAC, Happily Tweets About It – Samantha Lynne Goudie

Oh, Samantha Lynne Goudie, you young drunk you!  Yes, drinking in college is expected and getting drunk at college football games is a time-honored tradition. Drunkenly running onto the field during the game? Not so much. Getting arrested and blowing a 0.341% blood alcohol concentration from jail? Now you’re in pretty rare territory, honey. Then, happily Tweeting about it and boasting about your “accomplishment?”  Just be sure to put it…

September 5, 2013

Baseball’s Steroid Era, Part 2?

I thought the “Steroid Era” was over and that major league baseball players had learned their lessons? Apparently not as the first domino–in what is likely to be a long sequence of players–has fallen and there will likely be many more to come. Up to the plate first, former MVP Ryan Braun of the Brewers. Who’s on deck? Milwaukee Brewers outfielder Ryan Braun has been suspended without pay for the…

July 22, 2013

Bronco’s Exec Arrested for DUI After Smashing Into Patrol Car, Blows .246% BAC

Congratulations to Denver Broncos Director of Player Personnel Matt Russell! After his arrest for DUI this week, we found out he blew an incredible blood alcohol concentration of .246%, more than three times the legal limit. That lands him in the Top Twenty of the World Famous BadJocks BAC Rankings. Which, of course, is quite an honor these days. As to Russell’s claim that he only had “two green drinks”:…

July 11, 2013