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Top Ten Favorite Stories of 2004
#10. NHL's Mike Danton “Murder for Hire”
Truly one of the stranger
"big name" jock stories of 2004 involved St.
Louis Blues forward Mike Danton--charged in a bizarre
murder-for-hire scheme. Fortunately, our friends at TheSmokingGun.com
got their hands on the actual criminal complaint filed against Danton,
detailing the entire "Hit the Hitman" plot. See if you can
follow this: Danton calls a female friend and tells her a Canadian
hitman is in his way down from the Great White North to settle some kind
of debt and asks her if she knows anyone who can hit the hitman. Her
friend agrees to do it for $10,000, but here's the catch: Danton wants
the Canadian hitman murdered in his apartment and wants this guy to make
it look like a tag-team burglary gone bad! Turns out though that the
"Canadian hitman" is actually a live-in acquaintance of
Danton's who quarreled with him earlier in the week over his
"drinking and promiscuity." When the murder plot ultimately
fizzled, the acquaintance/roommate called Denton (while being taped by
police) and asked why he wanted him killed. According to the complaint,
Danton broke down and cried, and said felt he was backed into the corner
and didn't want the acquaintance to "leave him." You
can read it all for yourself here.
Read about
more famous Bad Jocks of 2004 here.
#9. Biggest Jerk in the Stands: Rangers Fan Takes Foul Ball From
Toddler
Remember the guy at the
Texas Rangers baseball game this summer who jumped over a row of seats
to steal a foul ball from a 4-year-old boy and his mother? Matt Starr,
a 28-year-old landscaper and
former youth minister came to symbolize everything that was wrong with fans at
professional sporting events. I'm a reasonable
person, so I went back and watched
the video again and, well, sorry he's still the biggest jerk in the
ballpark as far as I am concerned. Yes, people do crazy stuff going for foul
balls all the time, and he wouldn't be the first one to fall down a row or two
to get one. But as soon as he saw where he landed, and who he rolled on to get
that ball, he should have at least offered it to the kid or his mom. He then had
several innings to come to his senses and he didn't. Bottom line: he doesn't
deserve to be tarred and feathered, but he's also not going to get any sympathy
from BadJocks. For the full story of this event.
click
here.
Meanwhile, the "Foul Ball Kid", aka Nicholas O’Brien, had
a field day with the media.
Read about
some other big time sports dumbasses of 2004 here.
#8. Hockey Mom Flashes Breasts at Opposing Fans During Son's Game
Female
Hockey Fan Lifts Shirt, Flashes Opposing Fans . . . at Her 11-Year-Old Son's
Game! Thanks Mom! The life of a
pre-teen boy is so carefree most of them probably wish that something crazy like
this would happen, right? This incident allegedly happened at a game in the
Greater Toronto Hockey League (Oh Canada!) York Toros and Mississauga Terriers
in late November. According to a complaint letter received by the league, toward the
end of the game a female fan lifted her top and, while she was still technically
covered with a bra, the woman did shake her breasts side to side in an odd
attempt to taunt opposing fans. The shocked letter-writer took her two young boy
and quickly left the area but immediately ran into the woman (nicknamed
"Mrs. Jugs" by this reporter) again. The woman then claims that Mrs.
Jugs, upon seeing her disapproving look, yelled at her saying, "What the
hell are you looking at? Have you never seen t--s?" To which her one of
boys gleefully replied, "Not as droopy as those old saddlebags!" (Okay,
we made that last part up, but it would have been funny as hell if one of the
little guys did, don't you think?) The league is considering banning
Mrs.Jugs from the rink. On a positive note, her now thoroughly embarrassed son's
team, the Toros won the game 4-0.
Read about
more naked people in sports during 2004 here.
#7. Weed Falls Out of HS Softball Player's Glove During Game
A 17-year-old softball player from Conneaut High
School in Ohio was cited for possession after the bag of pot allegedly fell
from her ball glove as she took the field. Her genius boyfriend, Jose Tirado,
19, reportedly told the police the marijuana was his, which didn't get his
girlfriend off the hook, but it did get him cited for drug
possession. Bonus: Many
of you may remember a similar incident just over a year ago when a bag of weed dropped
from the shorts of a Michigan HS basketball player during a tournament game.
Kids, listen to Uncle Bob on this one: leave your weed in the locker room until
after the game. Or locked in the glove compartment of your car. Or maybe in that
strongbox you keep under your bed.
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#6. Soccer Fans Throw Garden Gnomes
UK
Soccer Hooligans Jailed for Brawl With Rival Fans That Saw Them Throwing . . .
Garden Gnomes? BadJocks has always said that UK soccer fans are some of
the nastiest sports fans in the world . . . and sometimes the most creative. In
North Wales, more than a dozen men, including a youth soccer coach jailed after
violence flared between Wrexham and Port Vale supporters. According to police,
as the rival fans battled outside the stadium amongst the homes and gardens in
the local neighborhood, many of them started hurling bricks and garden gnomes
at each other. All were banned from football matches for six years.
Read
some of the other Strange Bad Jock Stories of 2004 here.
#5. Topless Tuesday Girls HS Swimming Practice
HS
Girls Swimming Coach Suspended for "Topless Tuesday" Practice
- It started out innocently enough (it always does) when the girls
swimming team at Rocori High School in Minnesota held "Two-Piece
Tuesday" a once-a-year day when the girls wear two-piece suits to
practice. Sure, throw off those ugly one-piece suits and put on
something a little fun, great idea, right? Well, it had been every
year until this year when some of the girls decided to play a
"prank" on the coach and turn "Two-Piece Tuesday"
into "Topless Tuesday" and swam part of the practice without
only half of their suits. Now here's the interesting part: the coach
says it was all over in about 15 minutes and the girls put the rest of
their clothes on for the remainder of practice . . . but it sounds like
the school decided to suspend Coach Laura Molinari because she didn't
report the incident--and turn in the offending gals--to the principal.
(Thanks to long time BadJocks reader Artie Bigley for the story!)
Read about
more naked people in sports during 2004 here.
#4. Joe Namath's Drunken TV Appearance
Say It Ain't So, Joe!
Former NFL star QB Joe Namath,
who was caught on national TV drunkenly telling ESPN sideline
reporter Suzy
Kolber that he "wanted to kiss her" in the middle of an interview,
eventually decided to go into rehab for
alcohol abuse . . . although he didn't sound 100% sure
about what he was
actually doing. Boasted Broadway Joe, "Well, I've enrolled, or I've gone
into a center and I'm getting personal help there. These people are experts and
we need to talk." You might need to do more than talk to get past this
one, Joe. Our friend Brooks at SportsByBrooks.com still have the actual video clip of
the incident. Or listen
to the audio of the interview by clicking here.
For stories on other drunken athletes,
be sure to check out the famous BadJocks BAC
Rankings here.
Read about some
other big time sports dumbasses of 2004 here.
#3. HS Coach Sex Scandal of the
Year: The Nutsack Nutjob
It was hard picking a favorite
among the nearly 230 high school coach sex scandals we reported on in
2004: there was the Wisconsin girls soccer who put his
"girlfriend" on a bus to Mexico for a "surprise vacation;"
another coach who had sex so frequently with two underage girls in the
school where he worked that his lawyer demanded the cops look for
"DNA evidence" that still might be hanging around there; and
several coaches who got caught soliciting people they thought were teens
in Internet chat rooms, only to find out they were cops. No, all of
those are wonderful stories, but our favorite involves a
gymnastics coach at Mt. Spokane High School has resigned after it was
revealed that he approached an espresso stand three times in June of
2002. Nothing wrong with that, you say? Try
picturing the middle-aged coach, John Stump, doing that in nothing but a
G-string. Unfortunately for Stump, his little underwear parade may
have gone un-reported except for the fact that the girl who worked at
the stand was a HS student who recognized him from his coaching
activities. For his part, Stump says he was "going through a hard
time in his life."
Read
a selection of some of the more popular HS Coach Sex Scandals of 2004
here.
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#2. Middle-Aged Transvestite Cheerleader
Suspected of Trying to Kidnap Real Cheerleader
We also had a lot of good cheerleader stories this year, but this one
had to be one of our all-time favorites, and here's our original 
headline:
Middle-Aged Transvestite Paperboy
Faces Additional Chargers After "Cheerleader" Incident - Robert
Domasky, aka Kelly Dawn Hullenbaugh, now faces stalking, forgery and false
identification charges in addition to the charges related to his attempt to get
into a girls HS locker room. Cops say he fantasized about being a cheerleader
and also claimed to be a lesbian who was attracted to the young girls in
uniform. Link
includes video clip. Pictures
can be found here.)
Earlier: Middle-Aged
Transvestite Paperboy Tries to Get Into Girl's Locker Room at HS, Claims He
Wants to Be Cheerleader - This certainly is one of the stranger
stories we've ever reported on at BadJocks! A 48-year-old Pittsburgh area man,
who goes by the name Kelly Dawn Hullenbaugh, tried to make his way into the
girl's locker room before last Friday's home football game at Greensburg Salem
High School. When a custodian stopped him, the shemale claimed to be looking for
the cheerleading coach to provide him with "some lessons." That didn't
wash, so he was chased from the building and later located at his apartment by
police who found a foot-long knife in Hullenbaugh's Jeep next to a Greensburg
Salem gym bag embroidered with the name "Nicole," which contained a
cheerleading uniform and pom-poms. They immediately thought she, I mean, he, had
abducted a girl from the squad, but after breaking down the door to
Hullenbaugh's apartment, found him alone. After searching his apartment,
police removed a box of items that included high school yearbooks, photos of
Hullenbaugh dressed in cheerleading uniforms, and pictures of girls wearing
Hempfield Area cheerleading uniforms, apparently taken in a locker room and in
the high school gym . . . although none of the photos of the girls was of a
sexual nature. Police also found evidence that he had stolen the identities
of three women to obtain credit cards. Not exactly the petite cheerleader-type
Hullenbaugh, who also goes by the name Robert Domasky, is 5 feet,10 inches tall
and weighs over 200 pounds . . . and also looks a lot like Dustin Hoffman in
"Tootsie."
Read
more great Naughty Cheerleader stories from 2004 here.
#1. Our "Bad Jock of the
Year" for 2004
The "Caddyshack" Groundskeeper
How can you NOT love a guy who
bring's Bill Murray's famous character from the movie "Caddyshack,"
Carl Spackler, to life? Christopher Lehan, 36, an employee of the
private Sedgewood Golf Club in Kent, N.Y. was cited in September while
sitting in a golf cart--at night--with a flashlight and a loaded shotgun
after police received a complaint of shots being fired by neighbors near
the course. When they arrived officers found Lehan had already killed
three of the varmints and was totally unaware he had violated several
hunting laws and was cited for carrying a loaded weapon in a moving
vehicle.
If you
haven't already read our Top Ten List from 2003, you can check it out
here.
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