Have you ever
played in one of these charity golf events were they promise to pay you $1
million if you get a hole-in-one on a particular hole? It's a way to get more
people out on the course and raise more money for charity . . . like at the 2004
Pineapple Open to Benefit for the Muscular Dystrophy Association held at the
Club West Golf Club in Ahwatukee Foothills in Arizona this summer. According to
golfer Keith Schott, eleven people were there to witness his hole-in-one on the
178-yard sixth hole. Despite fliers touting the million dollar prize (and at
least two signs on the sixth tee) event organizers approached a celebrating
Schott in the clubhouse and told him that the only way to collect his cash was
to "re-perform that miracle feat yet one more time in a videotaped shootout
before he would receive the promised prize." Of course, that didn't set
well with Mr. Schott so now he's suing MDA and the organizers of the event to
receive his money.
Headline of the Year?
Middle School Coach Catches Drug Crazed Special Ed Student Giving Hummer to
Football Player in Locker Room - Regular readers of this page know that
we practically live on the strange and bizarre here each and every day. But once
and a while the truly outrageous catches our eyes and try as we might to look
away, we can't. Take the case of a football coach at Strong Middle School in
Melvindale, Michigan, who walked into the boys locker room only to discover a
seventh-grade girl--described as a special education student--performing a sex
act on a player from his team. The girl then collapsed and had to be taken by
EMS to the hospital because she nearly overdosed on prescription drugs she had
stolen from her parents. That girl and a friend, also found in the locker room,
along with the boy have been suspended from school. Link
includes video clip!
Blind
Man Arrested Driving Golf Cart for Drunken Pal! At BadJocks, we've had
plenty of stories in the past about drunk
men (and women)
arrested for DUI while driving golf carts. This story out of Peachtree City,
Georgia is a little different in that the passenger in the cart was drunk but
the driver was sober, but blind. Not blind drunk, mind you, literally blind . .
. he had his guide dog in the seat next to him. Samuel McClain, 35, of
Stockbridge and Michael Johnston, 47, of Peachtree City were charged with
reckless conduct after McCain drove two miles through the winding streets of
Peachtree City, while Johnston shouted instructions . . . until they ran into a
parked car.
A
Classic BadJocks Story! You'll Want to Pull Up a Chair for This One! Two
Australian brothers, Patrick and Sean Sparks, who made a living scavenging lost
golf balls had a business rival who bashed one of them over the head at a local
course last summer and told them to "Get out, these are all ours."
Well, that didn't set well with the boys, so in October when they were driving
around, they spotted their rival and, according to Patrick, decided to "fix
this bastard up once and for all." What ensued was a cross town assault,
with the Sparks brothers in a high speed chase, throwing empty beer bottles at
the other car as they raced around local highways. According to police reports,
the rival ran three red lights trying to get away. Finally, the victim headed
for a local police station and parked his car outside. That didn't stop the
Sparks brothers! They proceeded to break the passenger window out of the guy's
car and launched their assault - in full view of police security cameras! The
victim was badly beaten before police could come to their rescue. In the end,
not only were the boys given prison terms for intentionally causing serious
injury, reckless conduct endangering serious injury and damage to property, they
had also found out they had beaten the wrong man! Said Sean, "I can't
believe it. I'm sick in the stomach. I don't know what to think now. If that
wasn't (him), this poor person that we done it to didn't even deserve it."
HS
Will Have 74 Cheerleaders This Year After Parents Complain Tryouts Were Not Fair
- At Hoover High School in Alabama this spring 74 girls tried out for
cheerleading and "only" 62 got spots on one of the many squads the
school seems to have. But that still wasn't good enough for some of the parents
who's girls didn't make the cut, so they complained that the judging wasn't fair
because several of the judges were affiliated with gyms where girls who made the
teams were members. So, the administration gave into the pressure and just said
everyone who tries out for cheerleading gets put on a squad.
From Our "What the Hell? Files: Former
Raiders Kicker Shoots Up Siegfried & Roy's House - You know, some
days the real news puts fiction writers to shame. Take the case of former
Oakland Raiders kicker Cole Ford. Not a big name star by NFL standards, but he
did play pro ball until 1997 and has been out of the game ever since. Not sure
what has transpired in those past 7 years, but whatever it was it has lead to
cops looking for him after a drive-by shooting last month at the home of
entertainers Siegfried & Roy in Las Vegas. Authorities have identified Ford
as the owner of a white minivan from which shots were allegedly fired at the
famous compound. Fortunately, no one was hurt, but police said shotgun pellets
shattered windows and left a hole in a wall. But what makes a man do
something like that? Is it because he hates magicians? Maybe the Vegas heat go
to him? Or maybe it's because he's a former pro ball player, now forced to drive
an old mini-van? We may never know.
College Hazing Horror:
Give the Banana a Hummer! -
BadJocks has reported on hazing incidents with bananas before, but those usually
involve high school boys and rear ends. The members on the U of Arizona's
woman's lacrosse team have found a new twist on the theme and have now been
charged with hazing after a team member reported she was forced to give a
banana oral sex. According to the school, five new girls were hazed by
upperclassmen about a month ago, when they were told to "demonstrate a blow
job on a banana," drink alcohol even though they were under 21,
and--horrors!--ate pudding off a container that was on the ground. Their
punishment? The team--which is actually a club sport at the school--is on
probation for one calendar year and each player must do 100 hours of community
service, AND they have to create an anti-hazing project. (Source - The
Arizona Daily Wildcat)
Aussie Bastards! Beer Wenches Banned at
Cricket Matches - Leave it to the Australians to find a way to make a boring
sport like cricket more tolerable by employing beer wenches. In case you're not
familiar with the concept, here's how it works: scantily clad young women, like
Cherri (who just so happens is also a stripper), are paid $65 an hour to run and
fetch drinks for thirsty, drooling male fans in the stands. Unfortunately, some
of the ladies have not been following laws regarding serving booze to people who
are already drunk . . . so Victorian authorities have banned them! And now poor
Cherri is all heartbroken and appears in need of comforting. Anybody know how
much a plane ticket to Australia runs these days? Just asking. Full,
bouncy story
Bonus Material - See
a beer wench in action at this website. (May not be quite safe for
work!)
Paralympics
Soccer Marred by Brawl - People with disabilities are just like everyone
else . . . and that was never proven more true in sports than this past weekend
when a mass brawl broke out between arch-rivals Brazil and Argentina in the
semi-final of the 2004 Paralympics soccer tournament. Apparently, the Argentines
didn't take it too well when Brazil took a 4-0 lead on them late in the game.
Tempers flared moments later as Brazil's Flavio Pereira and Mario Sosa of
Argentina became involved in a heated verbal conflict, triggering a mass brawl
that held up play for five minutes. Eventually order was restored but a total of
four players were kicked out of the game. BREAKING NEWS: The Special
Olympics is being rocked by a steroid scandal . . . details soon.
HS
Baseball Players Make Videotape of Themselves Having Sex With Underage Girl in
Motel Room - Six baseball players from Tooele High School in Utah have
been suspended and could face criminal charges for allegedly making a sexually
explicit videotape of themselves--and a lone young lady--in a motel room while
on a road trip in March. No charges have been filed yet because of the ages of
the students involved and the fact that the sex acts appear to be consensual. On
the other hand, if some of the boys were over 18 and this girl was underage,
they could face child pornography charges.
From the BadJocks Archive: This
is the second HS baseball team in the past several months to get caught
videotaping themselves in a sex act!
Disturbing
NBA News - We missed this one last week: Joseph Qatato, 44, the Indiana
Pacers equipment manager was arrested last week at a Birmingham, Michigan hotel
and charged with indecent exposure after appearing naked and fondling himself in
front of the window of his second-story suite about 8 a.m. Quipped Birmingham
Police Chief, and part time comedian, Richard Patterson, "Apparently he was
proud of his equipment. He wanted to show it off." This is great news
because they needed a new equipment manager for one of the expansion PeNBA
teams.
Soccer Game Pieces Come With Streakeers - Thanks to the assistance of
several BadJocks readers we have managed to locate the website of Tom Taylor who
makes game pieces for a table top soccer game, popular in the UK, known as
Subbuteo. We did a story
on Tom because he makes some unique game pieces, in 
addition
to the usual soccer players and referees included in traditional sets: he also
includes little tiny streakers (male and female) and corresponding gender cops
to chase them. At right are slightly edited photos of the male and female
streakers and I have to save I don't think we have ever posted a funnier image
on BadJocks in the four years I've been doing this site. To see the unedited
pictures or order game pieces, you can find
Tom's site here. (Link may not be safe for work.)
Catholic
School Booster Club Puts Ad for Porn Site in Girl's Basketball Program -
No one has stepped forward yet, but at least one parent at Oakland Catholic High
School in Pittsburgh decided that it was okay to take the money from a local
company that provides dancers for " bachelor and bachelorette parties,
sports parties and divorce parties" and--for good measure--tacked on the
URL for an adult porn site. Said a priest/spokesman for the diocese after
hearing the contents of the ad, "Oh, my. That kind of ad is contrary to
everything we stand for!"
Get Paid to Take Surveys Online?
Did you know that companies will pay you $5 to $75 just to fill out simple
online surveys from the comfort of your own home? Or, that you could get paid
$50 to $150 for participating in focus group panels for just 30 to 60 minutes.
It's that simple. No catch, no gimmick,
free details.
BadJocks
First: Mom Wants Gym Teacher Fired for Making Her Son Do Pushups . . . Until He
Peed Blood! - Okay, stories of cruel gym teachers
are legendary . . . but so are overprotective parents. This Alabama mother may
have point: the grade school gym teacher made her 7-year-old do more than 70
pushups as a punishment for losing his place in line during class. A doctor who
examined the boy later at a local hospital claims his muscles were breaking down
and the toxic byproduct was entering his blood stream, a condition most often
seen in endurance athletes. The school says the teacher did nothing wrong.
Damn
Thieving Squirrels! For years, golfers have had to endure a variety of
disruptions on the golf course, but lately players at the Riverside Golf Course
in Edmonton, Alberta have faced a new challenge: squirrels stealing golf
balls! According to reportedly sober eye-witnesses (but you know golfers),
the little rodents sit waiting along the 10th and 18th holes for balls
that land on the fairways, then dart out to grab them and run away with their
prize. (At right, a photo of one thief caught in the act. If you know the
whereabouts of this suspect, please contact the Edmonton Police.)
According to Riverside apprentice golf pro Dillon Wilder this activity has been
going on for years, but is particularly bad this summer adding, "People
claim that the squirrels take only the good balls. It gets expensive."
Apparently, the squirrels aren't storing the balls the way they do acorns,
but instead take them up trees and stuff them in magpie nests. Said Carl
Spackler, I mean, Wilder, "It's like they're teaching the kids. They're
seeing their parents do it and think it's right." Wilder didn't
specifically mention the negative influence of TV, rap music, and R-rated movies
on the young squirrels, but we all know they cause rodents to get hooked on
crack and steal to support their habits. The use of plastic explosives to get
rid of the "varmits" has also not been ruled out.
Eating
Contest Between HS Football Teams Turns Into Brawl on Live TV
- You have to see the video of this! TV station KUTV in
Salt Lake City was holding a preseason eating contest between rival Bingham and
Hunter high schools during it's noon newscast. They cut to the reporter standing
outside next to the teams, talking about how the Subway sandwich eating contest
between the squads was going. Suddenly, someone from one team sprays water on
the other team, then someone throws a bottle of water, then a whole 12 inch
sandwich is thrown (oh the humanity!) and finally punches . . . all while the
hapless reporter narrates the scene, and also runs for his life. They finally
cut back to the studio were the two female anchors look greatly distressed and
promise to "send help outside." LINK INCLUDES VIDEO CLIP!
Betting on Cricket Fights Leads to Arrest of More Than 100
- Fighting in the the humble sport of cricket, you say? No, even stupider:
gambling over the winner of the battle between two crickets . . . the insects.
About 115 people were arrested in Hong Kong following a police investigation
into alleged betting on insect fights. Undercover officers had the (I'm not
making this up!) "Far East Friends of Crickets Social Club" under
surveillance for several weeks before the raid. Even more surprising, cricket
fighting is legal in Hong Kong, but unfortunately, gambling on the outcome is
not. The event that was raided was billed as the "Guangdong Hong Kong and
Macau Fight of Champions" but in reality it was just a series of fights
between journeyman crickets in a rundown, back street social club. The local may
not have been Caesar's Palace, but the bug owners were playing for high stakes.
In addition to arresting the players, during the raid police also confiscating
more than $1,000 in cash, what they described as gambling paraphernalia and, of
course, the crickets who were lead out in tiny little cuffs for the world's
saddest perp walk. (Okay, I made that last part up, but it really makes the
story, doesn't it?) More
information on the history of cricket fighting here.
Get Paid to Take Surveys Online?
Did you know that companies will pay you $5 to $75 just to fill out simple
online surveys from the comfort of your own home? Or, that you could get paid
$50 to $150 for participating in focus group panels for just 30 to 60 minutes.
It's that simple. No catch, no gimmick,
free details.
