Top Ten Bad Jock Stories of 2007 - Includes Bad Jock of the Year!
Top HS Coach Sex Scandals of 2007
Top Naked People in Sports of 2007
Top Sports Hazings of 2007
Top Naughty Cheerleaders of 2007

"Best $39 I Ever Spent" - Woman claims that the Idiot Proof Diet helped her lose over 50 lbs, got rid of her heart burn, and cleared up problems with her gallbladder. Read her amazing story here.

How do you pick among ALL of the strange stuff that took place in sports last year? These are in no particular order.

Zamboni Drivers Fired for Road Trip to Burger King - You know what a zamboni is, right? It's a large machine that cleans the ice between periods of a hockey game. Sort of like a giant street sweep for ice . . . with a top speed of 5 mph. So we're not quite sure what got into two employees of the Idaho IceWorld arena when they decided to take their zambonis to a local Burger King after midnight one recent Friday night. But they did, and--not surprisingly--someone spotted the not-quite-road-worthy vehicles and called authorities. Both men have been fired from their jobs and could face criminal charges. Hope you liked the Whopper, fellas! (Idaho Statesman) Thanks to MacKenzie for the link!

HS Girl Body Paint Update: Manatee Principal Did It to Protect Their Boobies! - Well, it took a few days but we finally have gotten to the real reason why Manatee Principal Robert Gagnon pulled two girls, Jessyca Altenbach and Monica Cummings, out of the stands last Friday night and told them to cover up or leave. Why? The pair had only body paint and bikini tops on at the football game (just like a number of their male counterparts) and Gagnon now claims he booted them to protect their modesty. No, seriously, apparently young ladies walking around in a crowd with bikini tops on could somehow lose them and then they would be topless and then all hell would break lose. (Another article claims a rumor spread through the stands that the girls were actually topless except for the body paint.) According to Gagnon, allowing bikinis at the game would have set the school up for other problems, like having to decide when it's too small or how to protect bikini-wearing girls as they jostle through the throngs of people who attend games. "That's the last thing I want to do, is put a kid in a bikini walking through a crowd," Gagnon said. Yeah, there are never any crowds at say, the beach or a swimming pool, are there? (Herald Tribune) Thanks to Artie Bigley for another great link!

Falcons Michael Vick Fights Over "Suspicious" Water/Weed Bottle at Airport - The Vick brothers are frequent guests here in BadJocksLand, so its no surprise that older brother Michael ran into some trouble at the at Miami International Airport yesterday. Apparently, the quarterback known to many as Ron Mexico was reluctant to give up a water bottle as he passed through security (Have you not flown on a plane since 9/11 Michael?) and caught the attention of authorities. When they examined the bottle closer, they found a hidden compartment inside that contained "a small amount of a substance and an aroma associated with marijuana." No charges were filed and the senior Vick brother was allowed to continue on his merry way to Atlanta, where we're sure the Falcons will want to have a long talk with him before they take away his TV privileges for two weeks and send him to bed without supper. (USA Today)
BADJOCKS BONUS: Thanks to some help from our friends at The Todd 'n' Tyler Radio Empire, we've found the hidden compartment water bottle used by Michael Vick to impress the nice folks at Miami International Airport. . . and now you can get your very own! Have fun with friends, family and airport security personnel! Perfect for hiding cash, jewelry and the occasional previously smoked blunt. Only $29.95 from eFindOutTheTruth.com.

Mom Sues Little League Coach For Not Teaching Son to Slide Properly - The worst kid on your team finally makes contact with the ball and it looks like an easy single, maybe a double, so what do you do? Well, of course, the first base coach tells the kid to go for two and as he approaches second everyone yells "slide!" Which the 12-year-old does . . . badly and injuries his leg. So what does the boy's mom do THREE YEARS LATER? Sue the coach and the local Little League, that's what, claiming that no one taught her boy the "skills needed to avoid and/or minimize the risks of injury," specifically: how to run bases and slide. This, despite the fact that the bases are made of foam. And you wonder why no one wants to coach youth sports anymore? (NY Post) Thanks to William B. for the link!

A-Rod's Wife Attends Yankee's Game Wearing Obscenity on the Back of Her Shirt - The Bronx Bombers aren't having the best season, but to put the F-bomb on the back of your shirt in a public place with your 2-year-old in tow? Sounds like something Britney Spears might do, but Alex Rodriguez's long-suffering wife, Cynthia? On one hand it could have been a practical joke that A-Rod played on her before she left the house, kind of like a modern version of the "Kick Me!" sign. "Here honey, I got you something to wear at the game today." You also have to wonder if--after StripperGate--it was an offer of some kind, although it might be missing the question mark at the end of that to be true . . . kind of like "F--- You? Sure!". No one seems sure of who the intended target was, although a number of fans sitting behind her were in the direct line of fire. Interestingly enough, despite the fact that wearing such a shirt violates Yankee Stadium policy, and several fans complained, security did nothing. Wonder what would happen if a number of Yankee fans showed up at the next home game with shirts that read F-U Cynthia? Think they'd be allowed to stay in their seats? (NY Post)

Two Drunk Men Accused of Driving Friend's Golf Cart Into Lake - What is it about electric golf carts and water? They seem to find each other like magnets. Usually, it's drunk kids breaking into a country club in the middle of the night and stealing them to vandalize the course . . . with one usually ending up in the club pool or pond. This time it was two men near a country club in Naples, Florida. Apparently, the fiancé of one of them was house sitting for a friend for a friend over the Fourth of July weekend and they decided to take the golf cart for a spin after allegedly downing a few adult beverages. This, at only 3 o'clock in the afternoon . . . in the rain. When police officers arrived at the scene, their first question of Raymond Charles See, 31 and Mark David Yerger, 29 was if they had permission to be driving the cart, and Yerger reportedly responded, “I think so.” At that point, officers noticed that both smelled of alcohol, were staggering around and had watery eyes and slurred speech. Both were charged with misdemeanor disorderly intoxication. Still, Mr. See (left) looks pretty happy in his mug shot, right. (Naples News)

"Best $39 I Ever Spent" - Woman claims that the Idiot Proof Diet helped her lose over 50 lbs, got rid of her heart burn, and cleared up problems with her gallbladder. Read her amazing story here.

The Best Job in Sports? Soccer Ref Has to Determine if Female Player is Really a Dude - So, you're from Ghana and you're playing South Africa in a women's Olympic soccer qualifier and you suspect one of the opposing players, Alice Noko Matlou, is really a man. What do you do? Well, you ask the referee to inspect her, uh, "package" to make sure that there's nothing there that shouldn't be. He did, she didn't and Ghana won anyway, 3-1, in case you had money on that game instead of the WNBA finals. (The Sun)
BadJocks Bonus: Think this doesn't happen in African sports? Then you missed one of our favorite bad jock stories of all time involving Zimbabwe female track star Samukeliso Sithole who turned out to be a man . . . but had a very good excuse. Read about it here.

Little League Umpire Assaulted by Angry Mom With . . . Pizza Slice? - How angry would you have to be to part with some of your food at a Little League baseball game? For one Concord, MA mom all it took was her son losing a close game 10-9. According to police, Sherri Ferns, 35, was working in the concession stand during the all-star game back in July between the Concord National and Salem American Little Leagues. Ferns's son reportedly played for the Concord team, which lost, 10-9, after one of his teammates was called out at third base and then booted from the game for throwing his helmet in frustration. After that heartbreaking loss, some of the Concord parents--some of whom the cops think were drinking-yelled at the umpires, and at some point, Ferns threw a piece of pizza at one of the umps and not only did it hit him, it ricocheted off him and hit another parent. As a result, Ferns has been charged with two counts of simple assault, a misdemeanor punishable by up to a year in jail and a $2,000 fine. (Concord Monitor) At right, the mug shot of the infamous Pizza Tossin' Little League Mom.

Can't Stop the Music! HS Marching Band Director Arrested Following Game After Cops Tell Him to Stop Playing and He Refuses - Yes, Mr. Super Band Director, you are the supreme commander when it comes to what goes on during band camp. In fact, for those 100 or so kids under your watch, you can do no wrong and your word is law . . . except when a cop tells you to do something. Then, you really should comply . . . especially when they ask you nicely several times. Here's what happened in Newport News, VA: More than 10,000 fans attended the big game last Friday between Phoebus High School and rival Hampton High School. Because of previous incidents of violence, more than 40 police officers were in attendance and were trying to get the fans to exit the stadium in an orderly fashion when several fights broke out. The officers tried to communicate with each other using their walkie-talkies but couldn't hear over the marching bands. Apparently in this part of Virginia, it's customary for the bands "duel" each other after the game, taking turns playing songs. According to police, the asked High's band director, Tory F. Smart FOUR TIMES to stop so they could hear and do their jobs. Instead, they arrested him on an obstruction charge and hauled him away in cuffs in front of the band and other fans. Of course, now the community is split over what should have done and if the cops over-reacted. (Daily Press)

Tennessee Football Player Found in Bedroom With Three Drunk, Underage Girls in Apartment Full of Guns . . . Then It Gets Weird - Cops in Knoxville thought they were responding to a routine burglary call when they showed up at the apartment of UT starting center Josh McNeil. Outside they found a broken window with blood on the glass and inside they could see a bunch of guns. Once inside, they found a locked bedroom door and eventually got the help of Gerald Harrison, UT's Director of High School Relations (WTF?) who finally got McNeil to open the door where they found three drunk underage young ladies--including one who is supposed to be McNeil's girlfriend, who all claimed to be, uh, sleeping when cops showed up. The broken window was explained as a the result of forgetting his keys and the guns . . . well, they're just for hunting. No charges against McNeil, but the party trio were hit with underage drinking charges. (Knoxville News) Thanks to Rick F. for the link!

Excuse of the Year: College Basketball Player Arrested After Shots Fired at Nightclub Claims He Found Gun on Floor, Didn't Want Anyone to Get Shot, so He Fired It Into the Air Until it Was Empty - Say what? It takes some pretty large ones to say something like that to the cops. According to police in Jonesboro, Arkansas a brawl broke out about 2:30 am Sunday at a local bar and nearby officers heard the shots and pulled over a vehicle leaving the scene with five Arkansas State athletes inside. At first, the occupants denied there was a gun in the vehicle, but a quick search turned up a firearm in the back seat. Oops! At that point, ASU basketball star Adrian "Shooter" Banks told officers that the gun had "nothing to do with the other occupants" and admitted that he found the gun at the nightclub where the fight had broken out. How did he explain discharging it? This one is classic, boys and girls! According to police, Banks said, "I found the gun on the ground and didn't want anyone to get shot, so I shot the gun until it was empty." (ESPN)

Yow! Church Deacon/Oklahoma Fan Tears Scrotum of Texas Fan in Bar - His lawyer claims that Allen Beckett is, "Not necessarily an overboard die-hard OU fan, but he certainly admits he said something in a joking fashion to the guy about his Texas T-shirt." But somehow, this 53-year-old church deacon managed to go from making a minor comment about the U of Texas T-Shirt of another patron in an Oklahoma bar to tearing the guy's scrotal sack and partially exposing his testicles. It's the kind of jolly bar banter that only happens between two REAL sports fan. Unfortunately, the cops don't see it that way and Beckett has been arrested on aggravated assault charges. The other guy, well, it's likely he won't be walking normally to the first home game for the Longhorns, but my guess is he'll make it somehow. (NBC 5i)

Teacher Pleads Guilty to Charges She Had Sex With Football Player in Motel Room While Children and Baby Sitter Slept - Remember this story? Darcie Esson was a Elizabeth High School teacher who traveled with her kids to an away playoff game with the football team last fall. According to police, sometime in the middle of the night, a star player on the football, 17, found his way to her room and the two had sex while a teenaged babysitter and her two young children 4 & 8 slept nearby. This week, Ms. Esson plead guilty to one felony count of sexual assault on a child age 15 to 17 by a person in a position of trust and could be sentenced--get this--from probation to an indeterminate life sentence. Stay tuned. (Post Independent)

Headline of the Year? Cross-Dressing Fake Deputy Arrested, Turns Out to be Granddaughter of NASCAR Founder - In one of the strangest stories of the year, Rachel Lyndsee Otto, 21, the granddaughter of NASCAR cofounder Edgar Otto was arrested . . . for impersonating a MALE police officer. Apparently it's not enough anymore to just impersonate a cop, you have to gender bend as well. According to police, Otto pulled pulled over and handcuffed a male motorist who allegedly cut her/him off. When a real cop showed up, Otto's story changed suddenly from "I'm an off-duty deputy for the Palm Beach County Sheriff's Office" to "I'm making a citizens arrest." Things got really weird when the real cop then approached a young woman in Otto's car and she told the officer she had been living for the past week with her/him, thinking Otto was a man. Oops. Talk about spoiling the surprise! Ms. Otto, pictured right in what can only be described as the strangest bowl cut we've ever seen, faces charges of impersonating an officer and making a false arrest. (Palm Beach Post)