According to an unsolicited email I got this week (but one that I still have complete confidence in) more bets are placed on the Super Bowl this weekend than on any other single day sporting events. By some estimates it will be to the tune of $90 million . . . and that’s just the legal bets. The message went on to claim that over half of Americans will partake in gambling on the big game, look and an estimated $6-10 billion (that’s with a B, discount kids) will change hands through, malady uh, “other” channels. And, in addition to the bets on the winner of the game & the point spread, others will slap down hard-earned cash on such trivia as “Who will win MVP award?”, “How many songs will Katy Perry perform at halftime?” and “Will she have sex after the game with the Texans’ JJ Watt?” (Want to know more about NFL? Look for the best Superbowl odds at Sportbet”.)
I’ll be honest: my money will be on the pro-coitus side of the spectrum (currently 5-1 saying JJ will score at least once), but you do have to wonder if Katy’s been just stringing the all pro defensive lineman along to make former husband Russell Brand jealous. If so, I think they should throw a flag and penalize her, uh, somehow.
As far as fellow pop star Taylor Swift goes, I kinda doubt she’ll even be watching the game, much less engaging in any “romantic physical contact”, but if she does and if it goes badly (make that WHEN with Taylor), expect a new album about the game out sometime this spring.
As far more serious on-field antics, I do expect a streaker to make it onto the field during the game, but I also expect him to be tasered by Patriots owner Robert “Respect My Authority” Kraft who seems pretty angry these days. (The over/under on the number of tasings is currently at 2, with a push for at least one knee to the groin.)
The wagering on the number of fans who will be too drunk to make it to their owns seats also seems to be high, with an estimated 10,000 of the stadiums 80,000 seats empty at kickoff. I personally think a lot of fans will miss the kickoff because of the new and enhanced “NFL Experience” outside the games, especially the demonstration by ball boys on how to properly inflate and deflate game balls without being caught.
In the end, most people will quickly forget who won the game, the score, or who the MVP was. But if Katy Perry has a wardrobe malfunction, she–and the unnecessarily flimsy top she was wearing–will live forever. You can bet on that!