Wednesday was one of those days. One of those days when my Mom would have looked at me and said “Look what you did now, thumb mister!”
What I did, was mess with the bull. Dance with the devil. Tempt fate.
I made fun of the FootGolf community in yesterday’s post. I know, WHAT WAS I THINKING? I made this quip in a Twitter post on Wednesday:
As if you’re not bored enough already – now we have Footgolf. No, really, the combined soccer and golf into one super boring sport….
— Bob Reno (@BadJocks) May 7, 2014
Yeah, I know. I was pushing the envelope and was reaching. Who wouldn’t like a sport that combined the free-spirited nature of golf with the high scoring action of soccer? But then the Twitterverse started to rumble and we got this reply for FootGolfAmerica to our tweet (a strongly worded “Have you ever played?”), and we sent a flippant response:
Yes I did that. I know, I crossed the line with the Sandler comment. As soon as I pushed Tweet, I wanted to call it back, but it was too late. What happened next was like a nightmare . . . or a bad Michael Bay movie. We haven’t seen this kind of backlash since I made a snide remark about Kabbi, essentially adult “tag” that is wildly popular in India, back in 2007. (Don’t ask.)
FootGolf players in Portland and San Francisco started protesting outside our offices in those cities (FootGolf must be popular with the dirty hippie crowd.) Protests quickly moved east, hitting the BadJocks offices in Denver, Minneapolis, and Chicago. The crowds grew larger and more angry. Our private security force couldn’t control the angry mobs and the back-up team promised by our good “friend” Richard Branson never materialized. We were on are own. Protests headed to the east coast and soon surrounded our offices in New York, DC, and Boston.
Before we knew it, the Extreme FootGolf crowd got involved (they play this already difficult sport on snow boards, both winter and summer) and then Avery “Tippy” Tipton–considered the “Tiger Woods of FootGolf–publicly condemned BadJocks and we knew we were in big, big trouble.
On the plus side, a couple of young women in New York thought the protesters were part of some kind of anti-fur protest by PETA (their offices are in the same building as ours) and went topless for about an hour before they found out otherwise. (Yes, we have pictures, and no we’re not sharing them.)
And just when we thought it couldn’t get any worse, late in the day the FootGolf hooligans got involved (they’re the worst, making regular soccer hooligans look like, well, just fans.) Peaceful protests turned into riots as the sun set across America.
As riot police moved in, students at Michigan State University put an exclamation point on the day by burning not one, but three couches outside my home in Lansing. Smoke, obscene chats for my demise, and police sirens were the music that I fell asleep to last night.
It’s still early, but as the sun comes up today the damage is likely to run into the hundreds of dollars, maybe less. We’ve tried reaching out to the FootGolf establishment, but our lines of communication are pretty fried right now. We’re bracing ourselves for another day of protests. Not sure how much more if this we can take.
So, if there’s a broadcaster out there who has a large FootGolf audience (and who wouldn’t with the popularity of the sport) who would like to broker peace talks to end this madness, please shoot me an email at BadJocks at Yahoo.com. Otherwise, we’ll be hiding in the BadJocks Bunker all day.