Bob Reno’s Report for May 6, 2014

BadJocks Crime of the Decade? We know its still early in this decade, but this one is at least in the running. According to police in Fremont, Nebraska, someone is stealing golf balls . . . from the greens at the popular Fremont Golf Club WHILE people are playing. Okay, that’s not that unusual, but the next part is: the thief is then painting the golf balls and hitting them into the local cemetery. At people mourning their departed loved ones.  According to Lt. Kurt “Don’t Call Me Burt” Bottorff of the Fremont Police Department at one person was almost struck by a ball while visiting the cemetery. Is it some kind of Satanic ritual? Zombies? Or just bored and drunk teenagers? If you know the mastermind behind this Great Plains crime wave, you can call the local Crimestoppers at 402-727-4002. Source – Fremont Tribune

NFL Deadbeat Alert: TMZ Sports is saying that Houston Texan’s running back Arian Foster stiffed a fan on a bet . . . over a cell phone game? He challenged the world to beat him at a game called Fun Run and offered up one of his jerseys as reward. Until he lost three times to a guy in Great Britain and refused to pay up. The real question is “How will this impact his fantasy football value this season?”

NBA Legend Kareem Abdul-Jabbar: How to Tell if You’re a Racist Like Donald Sterling – There’s a new interview at Time.com out with former Los Angeles Laker and NBA Hall-of-Famer Kareem Abdul-Jabbar who’s talking about recent allegations that LA Clippers owner Donald Sterling is a racist. In the interview, Jabbar makes a point to educate people on how to tell if they are, in fact, racist. In my head I read that in a Jeff Foxworthy’s voice and it came out, “You might be a racist like Donald Sterling if . . .”

Top Five Signs You May Be a Racist Like LA Clippers Owner Donald Sterling

#5. Named your German Shepards “Adolph” and “Hitler”
#4. During Captain America movies, you’re the only person in the theater who roots for Red Skull & Hydra. Hail Hydra!
#3. All your formal attire comes with a white hood.
#2. Even those crazy, fringe white supremisist groups think you’re “out there.”
#1. Your favorite president? Jefferson Davis

Golf Carts in Water! – Long time readers will remember our BadJocks theory that most thefts of golf carts from country clubs end with the electric vehicles in some kind of water: lakes, ponds, rivers, and as we recall at least one time in a swimming pool. Not sure what the attraction is, but that’s were they almost always end up. Case in point: this vandalism in Whitewater, Wisconsin at Spring Creek Golf Center over the weekend where a reward of $2350 is being offered for information regarding the crime. According to police, someone used used the carts to run over all the greens and did doughnuts on the greens. If that weren’t enough, vandals also snapped off wooden tee markers, ran over benches and garbage cans and, in a final act of drunken defiance, pushed a portable toilet to the field next to the course. Shocking!  When the evening was over, only one golf cart is still usable, while two remained stuck in water on Tuesday, one in a pond on the course and the other in Whitewater Creek. Source – Journal Sentinel Online

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