High School Baseball Players Charged Over Chicken Sacrifice, Being a Stereotype

Dumbass Category LogoJust what baseball needs: more players who think that superstition plays a greater part in the game than actual skill. Why don’t we just hold pagan services at the ballpark and get it over with already?

Oh well, here’s the basics of the story: Two players on the Western Hills High School baseball team (Texas) decided they needed to “boost” their on-field performance so they did what any hard working young athlete would do: they sacrificed some baby chicks during Spring Break on the ballfield where they play their games (you can read the full article to see exactly what they did).

Their coach, Bobby “I Shouda Been a Doctor” McIntire thinks the boys just may have been influenced by scenes of “sporting sacrifice” in such baseball films “Major League” and “Bull Durham.” In both of those comedies, prescription a ritual involving dead chickens is referenced as a way of “beating a slump.”

The good news for these two is that it may not only lead to a break in their slump, but also a shot at make the starting team on the Texas Prison Baseball Team, with a guaranteed contract for two years.

Kids, take it from your old Uncle Bob: leave the animal sacrifices to the adults who know what they’re doing . . . like Charlie Sheen.