Monthly Archives: April 2011

Anus Touching Hazing Leads to Arrest

Junior varsity players get no respect & they probably hate the bus ride on away games because that seems to be when all the newsworthy debauchery happens.  Take for instance this story of a hazing incident which lead to the arrest of 6 people, including 2 adults.  JV players had their faces shoved into other people’s butts but it does not stop there.  The allegations reveal that these buttocks must have been bare because the poor baseball players had to touch genitals & anuses.

Cottonwood High School:  Where one must touch another’s anus in order to be accepted!  Male bonding at it’s finest, folks.

The DA makes this curious statement, “This went far beyond making someone wear a sheet to school”.  Are we talking a toga?  Something with a pointy white hood?  What kind of sheet-wearing does he consider to be a simple hazing ritual exactly?

The Dothan Eagle has the juicy (stinky?) details:

The alleged hazing incident happened on a bus trip back from a baseball game in Geneva County. Geneva County District Attorney Kirke Adams said the students are accused of pushing members of the junior varsity baseball team’s faces into their buttocks as part of an “initiation.” Some of the students are also alleged to have touched the victims with their genitals and anuses.

The students were expelled from the Houston County Schools and required to attend alternative school 45 days.

Drunk Stripper Accused of Selling Ecstasy at Memorial Golf Tournament

Amythyst Brown mug shotIt’s still early in the year, but this very well could be our “Bad Jock of the Year” story for 2011. Just listen to this: The nice folks in Corbin, Kentucky, like many communities this time of year, were having a charity golf scramble to raise money for a good cause. In this case, it was the Joey Taylor Memorial Golf Scramble, named after local avid golfer Joey Taylor, with the proceeds going to help fund the budding career of a young local golfer. All good there. Sounds like everyone was having a good time at the tournament . . . maybe too good a time.

It seems the Taylor family wasn’t pleased with some of the “obscene” behavior going on at the scramble being held in their loved one’s named and threatened to pull their name off the event. This apparently upset the scramble’s organizer, one Danny Davenport, who apparently made significant enough threats against the family that the cops had to be called . . . to a charity golf event.  Officers promptly arrived at the Williamsburg Country Club and Golf Course and stopped all the vehicles leaving the event.

Now, enter “exotic dancers” Amythyst Brown, 20, and Lacresia Moberly, 25, who–when stopped by police–claimed they had been hired by the previously mentioned Danny Davenport to sell alcohol and food. Sure. (He probably had no idea they were strippers when he hired them.) Because Brown had jumped out of her car at the entrance where police were stopping vehicles, officers quickly determined from her breath that she likely was a prime candidate for a DUI. So, they searched her car and found a small amount of weed and a little blue pill. Later Brown admitted to officers that the pill was the party drug Ecstasy and she had been selling them for $20 a pop at the scramble to make a little side money because “times were rough and she had to support her 5-year-old.” Oh, and she also just found out that she’s pregnant AGAIN. Moberly, a passenger in Brown’s car, was also apparently extremely drunk and arrested on alcohol intoxication charges.

If the Taylor family had any doubts about pulling their name from the event, the arrest of  two drunk strippers, one selling Ecstasy to the players could very well seal the deal.

Now THAT’S a bad jock story. Video from WKYT below.

Hockey Player Assaults Referee After Slashing Call on Teammate

Dumbass Category LogoThis one gets kind of confusing, but we’ll see if we can sort it out.

To start off, there was an adult league hockey game in Connecticut. (Got that so far?)

With about a minute left in the game, referee Peter Tarantino calls a slashing foul on a player from one team who promptly gets into a fight with an opposing player and both men go down on the ice. Enter player Martin Durkaj.

Durkaj jumps into the fray and starts punching both guys until Tarantino and another ref go over to break things up like hockey refs usually do after a little bit of time passes. Only instead of just getting up and walking away, Durkaj punches Tarantino in the face accidentally. Because he’s wearing a face shield, the ref’s not hurt, but he does tell Durkaj to be more careful next time so that a referee doesn’t get punched. So what does he do? The dumbass punches Tarantino in the face INTENTIONALLY.

Okay, now things are getting interesting. The uninjured Tarantino now tells Durkaj that because of that punch he’ll be awarded a match penalty which apparently carries a five minute game penalty and a bonus 30-day suspension from the league. At that point, Durkaj, instead of admitting defeat and moving on, decided it was a good idea to hit Tarantino in the face a second time. That’s when the cops were called.

Now, in addition to sitting out a few adult league hockey games, Mr. Durkaj was charged with second-degree breach of peace and criminal attempt at third-degree assault.  And all this happened while he was wearing a jersey with the number 99 on it, the same as his idol Wayne Gretzky. The Great One indeed.

Dumbass.