In this painless, Painful Sports Video, a guy from the team in the green is just minding his own business, hugging teammates after a goal when Johnny Giantfingers comes running in and pokes him right n the eye, . . . or maybe near the eye, . . . or possibly just in the general head area. Anyway, the instincts of Timmy Takesadive took over and he went right over, clutching his face as if he had been splattered with battery acid. The injury was so bad that it took a stretcher and seven paramedics to strap him in for a long trip to the fake doctor under the stands who probably gave him a Hello Kitty band-aid and a lollipop.
Again, another perfect example of why American’s hate soccer. That, and the lack of hot cheerleaders.