University of Alabama safety Mark “The Genius” Barron was arrested Sunday morning for hindering prosecution, according to Mobile Police. “Hindering prosecution” is another way of saying he was B-S*’ing a badge. It would seem that Barron has a big soft spot for his cousin, who he was taking the fall for.
About 5:00 A.M. a vehicle was reported abandoned on I-10 at Michigan Avenue. It had crashed into the retaining wall, and the driver left the scene. When police arrived, who was there, but (dah-dah-dah-dunt-dah-daaah!) SUPER BARRON!-ARRON-arron-arron…
He used his super dupe-er powers to dupe the cops into thinking that some guy named “Bull” took his car from a night club. Maybe he meant to say night “court”.
When Barron’s duping powers wore off, the police learned that his cousin Jeremy Lang was actually driving the car when it crashed. They gave Barron a chance to tell the truth, they begged him, and even got his grandmother, fer cryin’ out loud, to try and convince him to tell the truth. Being the big-hearted super Barron that he is, he had to stick to the hero’s creed, and lie. So, Barron was booked at about 7:30 a.m. and bonded out 45 minutes later.
Great. Now, instead of one citation for leaving the scene of and accident being issued to one family member, there will also be a second-degree misdemeanor charge on Barron, making two charges instead of one. Good goin’, there, super Barron. Job well done?