Monthly Archives: February 2011

Commodore’s Mascot Climbs Into Stands, Does Great Impression of Ron Artest (w. video)

EDITOR’S NOTE: For those of your who are not familiar with Ron Artest, he was an NBA player involved in the infamous “Malice at the Palace” incident between the Detroit Pistons and Indiana Pacers on November 19, 2004, at The Palace of Auburn Hills. A fan allegedly threw something at Artest following a scuffle with the Pistons and he went into the stands looking to kick some ass. He is not, however, a team mascot. His head is just abnormally large and he doesn’t like it when people point that out like we just did. Oh, crap. Lock the doors and put up the Ron Artest Alert System.

Vanderbilt University has a mascot named “Mister C”, and the ‘C’ must stand for “Clobber”.  That is exactly what this man-handling mascot did to one of their own fans last night during the game between the Vanderbilt Commodores and the Tennessee Vols in Nashville.

Mr. Clobber “got a little carried away” when he climbed into the stands, grabbed a fan by the left shoulder, and gave him a good right hook square in the face.  As the fan was knocked back, Mr. Clobber kept on swinging! His follow up shots did not land, but it certainly shows that the intention of the man behind the mask was to hurt this guy for some reason. The news caster says he was just trying to rile up the fans, but I don’t know about that. In the video, it looks like Mister C made a bee line to the fan for the sole reason of giving him a knuckle sandwich, or two, or three.

The poor fan left holding what looked to be a newspaper or schedule to his bloodied nose.

I think the Vol’s mascot is Smokey. I don’t know where he was, but I bet he was laughing his ass off.

Here is what was on Nashville’s news channel 4′s website (video from ESPN below):

Vanderbilt University’s mascot “Mister C” got a little carried away Tuesday night during the basketball game against the University of Tennessee.  During the game against the Vols, the mascot climbed in the stands and punched a Commodores fan in the face. The fan left the game with a bloody nose.  Apparently Mr. C. was just trying to energize the crowd but got a bit overzealous.

Golf Cart Catches Fire, Man Burns Hand Retrieving, uh . . . Golf Clubs. Yeah, That’s It, His Golf Clubs

Okay, so there’s nothing funny AT ALL about a guy burning his hand–even moderately–after the golf cart he was driving catches fire.

Okay, it would have been a little funny if he burned it grabbing for his beer instead of his golf clubs, but if you have ever wondered what an electric golf cart would look like after catching fire, you have to check out the full picture at the Baxter Bulletin. (We’re only going to show a small portion here of the picture by Jerry Ott, but you have to see the whole thing. Actually, what little is left when a golf cart melts . . . and catches the course on fire.) Amazing!

We do have to wonder after seeing this pic: is this what the future for the Chevy Volt looks like? I’d keep my fire extinguisher handy in any case. Here’s more from the Bulletin:

Golfer Jimmy Sanders was playing the seventh hole when his cart began to malfunction. As Sanders was checking the battery-operated cart, it caught fire, Ott said.  Ott says he was told by others Sanders’ hand was burned moderately while trying to retrieve his golf clubs, according to Bull Shoals fire chief Brent Mitchell, who said witnesses heard a loud popping sound or explosion.

The fire burned the cart to the metal frame and caught the fairway on fire. The fire began moving into the woods and towards a home before it was extinguished. Approximately one-half acre of land was burned, Mitchell said.

Miguel Cabrera is Latest Player in Theme of the Week; Shameful Arrest, DUI, and ‘DO You Know Me’ Card

EDITOR’S NOTE: Yes, I know Cabrera got arrested last week for DUI, but it was my fault that Benjamin Bradley’s article about him did not get published, so here you go. Better late than never, right?

I am new at the sports writing game. Is it always like this? Should we change the phrase, ‘A few bad apples’, to, ‘Half of y’all’? Seriously, I almost headlined this article with “Cabrera arrested. No, wait, don’t go! This is a new article! Yes, Really!”

Oh well, here we go again. Don’t worry, though, this is some good shameful stuff, and he was really trashed!

Miguel Cabrera was arrested Wednesday night in St. Lucie County, Florida, on charges of DUI and resisting arrest without violence. After reading the article, I figured he was lucky to get the “without violence” part.

It started off a little weird because the officer asked Cabrera who was with him, when there was no one else in the car. Cabrera replied, “I am going to F-ing kill him.” Apparently, they both thought someone else was in the car. Hmm.

Cabrera took a big swig of Scotch right in front of police, (he’s got some ca-hones), got out of the car and walked to the road with his hands up. Another officer arrived at some time and they were both trying to get him in the car. That is when Cabrera joined the ranks of the clichéd.

“Do you know who I am? You don’t know anything about my problems”, he said. “F-you!” He continued cussing and resisted to the point that the police had to whack him in the leg a few times until he fell. They finally got him cuffed and in the patrol car.

To top it all off, he gives a big cheese smile in his mug shot like it’s prom night. I have been drunk before, even trashed a few times, and did some embarrassing things. I wonder if he is embarrassed.

Read more: FOX Sports Detroit