Miguel Cabrera is Latest Player in Theme of the Week; Shameful Arrest, DUI, and ‘DO You Know Me’ Card

EDITOR’S NOTE: Yes, I know Cabrera got arrested last week for DUI, but it was my fault that Benjamin Bradley’s article about him did not get published, so here you go. Better late than never, right?

I am new at the sports writing game. Is it always like this? Should we change the phrase, ‘A few bad apples’, to, ‘Half of y’all’? Seriously, I almost headlined this article with “Cabrera arrested. No, wait, don’t go! This is a new article! Yes, Really!”

Oh well, here we go again. Don’t worry, though, this is some good shameful stuff, and he was really trashed!

Miguel Cabrera was arrested Wednesday night in St. Lucie County, Florida, on charges of DUI and resisting arrest without violence. After reading the article, I figured he was lucky to get the “without violence” part.

It started off a little weird because the officer asked Cabrera who was with him, when there was no one else in the car. Cabrera replied, “I am going to F-ing kill him.” Apparently, they both thought someone else was in the car. Hmm.

Cabrera took a big swig of Scotch right in front of police, (he’s got some ca-hones), got out of the car and walked to the road with his hands up. Another officer arrived at some time and they were both trying to get him in the car. That is when Cabrera joined the ranks of the clichéd.

“Do you know who I am? You don’t know anything about my problems”, he said. “F-you!” He continued cussing and resisted to the point that the police had to whack him in the leg a few times until he fell. They finally got him cuffed and in the patrol car.

To top it all off, he gives a big cheese smile in his mug shot like it’s prom night. I have been drunk before, even trashed a few times, and did some embarrassing things. I wonder if he is embarrassed.

Read more: FOX Sports Detroit