Top Naked Athletes of 2007
For some reason, nudity and sports seem to go together like milk and cookies. They just make good partners, from sports streakers to strippers at the golf course . . . and they make great copy as well. We have to admit, unlike most people, we LOVE naked athletes.
Honorable Mention – Streaker Breaks New Ground . . . on Scooter? – Streaking at cricket matches is nothing new. This game is so painfully slow and boring that you can’t blame fans to wanting to do something–ANYTHING–to spice things up. But what do you have to do to break new ground? How about streaking on a scooter? Not exactly physically challenging, but apparently its much harder to get caught as was demonstrated over the weekend in a match between Motueka and Stoke-Nayland at Trafalgar Park in New Zealand. Sorry, no pictures of this one, but we fully expect lazy American streakers to imitate it soon. (Stuff)
#10. Caught on Tape: Topless Women, Lap Dances, “Special Stations” Greet Golfers During Private Outing at Club – It might have been just another “my word against your word” situation at the aptly named Cherry Valley Golf Course in Stroudsburg, PA yesterday, if not for an incriminating video shot from a public road near the course. According to several witnesses, they were denied access down a public road while a “private golf tournament was taking place.” When the pair objected, an employee of the club allegedly threatened to kick their ass. So, what to do? Maybe shoot some video and still from the public road showing partially clothed females performing lap dances for golfers and sex acts on each other? (See amateur video below.) But that wasn’t enough, so the cops were called and were promptly greeted by club owner Gene “Strippers, What Strippers?” Percudani. When officers asked to speak to some of the young ladies, things got a little tense and ultimately Percudani’s lawyer was called (Yeah, this one will go all the way to the Supreme Court). Eventually officers met with the lawyer and a woman who claimed to represent the young women and eventually it was revealed that the group consisted of “dancers and customers of CR Fannys Gentlemen’s Club in Wilson.” So, maybe a charity event? No charges have been filed yet, but the video does make for some interesting, if not entirely safe for work, viewing. If this all sounds familiar to fans of the Jim Rome Show, several years ago BadJocks reported on an incident at the Hidden Valley Golf Club in Norco, CA, 40 miles east of Los Angeles where cops raided the club after undercover officers saw prostitutes having sex with golfers in plain view on the course. Rome talked about it for days and probably still remembers it fondly. It was even voted by Sports Illustrated as one of the Top 10 Ignominious Moments in Golf in 2002. Ah, the mammarys! (Pocono Record)
#9. Soccer Coach in Trouble for . . . Mooning Opposing Players? – So, you’re coaching an under-16 girls soccer team and the play is getting a little physical and “heated arguments” are breaking out regularly. How frustrating! So, what’s the best way to show your displeasure? Drop your pants and moon the opposing players, of course. At least, that’s what parents in Windsor, California say happened. And it outraged them so much that several of the girls and their parents called the cops asking for misdemeanor indecent exposure charges against the as-yet-unnamed male coach. He has been suspended from the league for now and cops are investigating but no formal charges have been announced. (UPI)
#8. Soccer Insanity! On the Day Football is Super in the USA, International Football Takes a Turn for the Worse Soccer Streaker Alert: Local Fans Say Young Man “Suffering as a Result of January’s Chilly Weather” - In the immortal words of Seinfeld’s George Costanza, “Shrinkage! There was shrinkage!” A 24-year-old UK soccer fan has not only been banned for a year from games, but he also apparently didn’t impress the crowd with his exposed package. Usually streakers are greeted with cheers during games in the UK, but this guy apparently picked the wrong time to run on the field. And, not only did the fans jeer him, they also made disparaging remarks about his manhood. According to one fan, the young man, who has not been named by police, seemed to be “suffering as a result of January’s chilly weather.” Cold, dawg, cold. (R&T Times)
#7. Drunken Rugby Player Streaks Game – Remember the good ol’ days when drunken FANS were the only ones who got naked during sporting events? Well, apparently the athletes want to get in the action now as evidenced by this story from Australia. According to police, six players from the Lavington Panthers rugby league team were arrested after an incident Sunday. Authorities say that the team was dropped off at the field well before their game and most appeared to already intoxicated. Their drunken antics peaked when one member of the team streaked naked across the ground at half-time of another game. Local cops are warning that such behavior will not be tolerated in the future at what is considered a “family event” and that their response will be swift. And if not swift, certainly fast enough to catch a drunk, naked rugby player. (Border Mail)
#6. English Women’s Rugby Team in Trouble Over “Topless Haka” Pics – Okay, let’s first start with a review of what a “haka” is: this tradition came to light during last year’s Commonwealth Games when officials wanted to ban the New Zealand rugby team from doing a pre-game ritual based on a Maori war chant. Basically it’s bare-chested rhythmic chanting and grunting used to intimidate foes. ( Watch a video clip of it here, if you really want to know more.) Anyway, the latest trouble actually involves the Canterbury women’s rugby team in the UK which decided to parody the haka in its 2007 calendar and featured a picture of players doing it dirty and topless . . . with arms and hands strategically positioned, of course. The apparent attempt at humor has now backfired on the gals, as haka experts around the world (okay in NZ) claim that while Maori women might have done the dance, the most certainly would NOT have done it with their hooters exposed. Said the head of New Zealand’s Maori Party, “The haka is sacred to us and we do it in the proper way at different times, but if people imitate it then we’re fair game to be imitated. I would feel differently if it was a New Zealand women’s team – it would be bastardising it in a way.” Sounds like this will require several weeks of review on our part. We’ll get back to you. (Sydney Morning Herald) Thanks to long time reader Artie Bigley for the link!
BONUS: Order your copy of the calendar to raise money to fight breast cancer here. Slightly Not Safe For Work page, due to large female jocks in various semi-nude–but discreet–poses.
#5. Dude! I Don’t Need to See That! UK Soccer Player Sends Naked Pic of Himself via His Cell Phone to Girl, 19 – At BadJocks, we’ve been frequently accused of favoring the naked female jock stories, so in the interest of being “fair and balanced” we bring you the story of David Nugent, a soccer player in the United Kingdom’s Premier League (like the NFL for soccer) who allegedly met a pretty young thing in a bar and tried to pick her up. After failing to score, he did what any young man would do: he took a naked picture of himself in the mirror with his cell phone and sent it to her. Of course, she did what any young woman would do who didn’t really want to see that: she sent it to all of her friends and–you guessed it!–before long it ended up online. Probably NOT the response he was looking for. At right, the PG-13 version of the picture . . . we really didn’t try and look for the X-Rated one. (Lancashire Evening Post)
#4. HS Hockey Championship Game Ends in Brawl After Fan Grabs Own Groin, Exposes Genitals to Opposing Fans – Nothing says “fun” at a high school hockey game like taunting the opposing fans by waving your junk at them. Police from three different jurisdictions had to be called when a brawl broke out last week after at the Brother Adelard Arena during a state Division II semifinal hockey game between Cumberland and Smithfield high schools in Rhode Island. According to cops, the incident started when a Smithfield High School student grabbed his groin and exposed his genitals to Cumberland High School fans. An off-duty security officer working the event ordered the teen out of the arena, but when he informed the officer that he needed a ride home, the cop made him sit with him for the rest of the game. Mistake! Before the knew it, the officer was surrounded by 15 Cumberland students and words were exchanged. The cop then tried to move everyone outside the arena, which only resulted in more fights, at times involving between 50 to 75 people in the lobby with “several fights simultaneously breaking out.” So far, only one 17-year-old Cumberland High School student has been arrested and charged with disorderly conduct. (Woonsocket Call)
#3. This one is close to the top mostly because it was the father of this 19-year-old speedskater who helped promote the idea.
ORIGINAL STORY – Hot Blonde Female Inline Speedskater From New Zealand Poses Naked to Promote Her Sport – 19-year-old Kiwi–and international inline speedskating sensation–Nicole Begg has decided that the best way to raise the profile of her young sport is to pose for pictures with nothing on but her skates. According to Nicole, she was a little nervous–and probably a bit cold–when the shoot started but later decided that what she was doing was no worse than what could be seen on most European beaches adding, “Lots of sports stars, both male and female, have done this sort of thing.” On the plus side, Begg’s father Bill, who’s also her coach, was apparently proud of his little girl saying that World Inline Cup magazine was looking for a sexier image. “It got beach volleyball in the Olympics and that’s where we would love to be.” At right, an edited version of the pic. For the slightly Not Safe For Work version, check out this page on Stuff. At left, Ms. Begg just three years ago. Mother Nature has been good to her. (Thanks to Fark.com for the link!)
#2. This one is rare . . . mostly because we don’t get a lot of amateur skiing stories. We’re also glad there’s no video or pics of this one.
ORIGINAL STORY – Man Arrested for Riding Ski Lift Naked, Pleasuring Himself – Nudity and sports seem to being going hand-in-hand more lately . . . but usually not literally. Today’s story comes to us from the Stratton Mountain Resort in Vermont where an Albany, NY man was spotted by other skiers sitting in a lift gondola naked and playing with himself. 46-year-old William N. Barrett III was arrested and charged with one felony count of lewd and lascivious conduct and a misdemeanor count of marijuana possession. Apparently by the time cops arrived to investigate Barrett had put his clothes back on, but in one pocket was a pouch that contained a little pot. (Times Argus)
#1. Naughty Cheerleaders, Bad HS Coaches, Nudity AND PICTURES? This story hits the BadJocks Trifecta!
ORIGINAL STORY – Shocker! HS Cheerleading Coach in Topless Photo Scandal With 15-Year Cheerleader – It’s the picture that’s rocking the tiny town of Goshen, Ohio: it’s of 19-year-old freshman cheerleader coach Victoria Schattauer and a 15-year-old cheerleader who allegedly took topless photos of themselves at a party. She was fired last week, along with 19-year-old assistant coach Andrew Emerson after the pair were accused of hosting a party where they allegedly providing alcohol to a freshman . . . oh, and the topless picture doesn’t help either. According to at least one site, the picture was then sent via email to school officials who then notified police. More pictures from Victoria’s MySpace page can be found here, and this site has more on the story and–allegedly–a link to the NSFW images. Thanks to Artie Bigley and others for the tip on this story!